Family Groups
Addiction runs through families, and has a profound effect on the relational dynamics of the entire family. It affects individual family members' lives and their relationships outside the family as well as the internal relationships in a family group. In one sense, these relational dynamics are very complex and entangled, in another sense, the simplicity of the situation is that if someone in your immediate family is suffering from a problem as pervasive and deep-seated as an addiction, it is hardly surprising that it has a significant effect on you and your immediate family members as well.
Addiction inhibits the ability of a person to relate fully to others – it is a condition characterised by a fundamental self-centredness at a deep, often non-conscious, level. This is responsible for much frustration in the addicted person's relationships with others, and this is reflected in the way those around them are able to relate to the addicted person and to one another. Frequently there are underlying feelings of resentment and disappointment, as help has been repeatedly offered and repeatedly rejected. Addicted people tend to operate in a relational climate of implicit outwardly-directed threat – challenges to their using behaviour tend to be held back by those close to them because of the anger that is incurred when the using or drinking is criticised or threatened. The scars incurred in this climate of fear and anger take time to heal.
Understanding how addiction operates within a family is key to the successful treatment of the condition and to the ongoing health of the relationships in the family. To this end, family support groups at Charter are available, free of charge, on a fortnightly basis. These offer information, support and insight to the families and friends of those who are currently or have been in treatment for addiction anywhere in the world. All are welcome, and the sessions are not just for the families of Charter clients. The groups aim to provide an understanding of the condition and the effect it has on the family member, whilst at the same time acting as a forum where feelings can be ventilated and heard.
Families are supported through the ups and downs of the treatment process irrespective of the outcome. It can be alienating as well as gratifying to have a family member enter treatment and begin to change the way they behave, break old destructive patterns, and gain a new perspective on their lives. Groups focussed on families provide guidance in what constitutes appropriate behaviour both around and towards the recovering addict. Self-protection and appropriate self-interest is the way forward.
If addiction treatment is to be successful then a significant degree of personal change is inevitable: this in itself will present difficulties within a family. Families need help with that transition. To establish healthy relationships, people must learn to understand how those relationships have been coloured by addiction in the past, and how to bring about their own form of change. This is centred around self-respect, and the ability to distinguish between the separate needs of individuals within a family – to look to your own wellbeing where previously the wellbeing of others may have been an overriding concern.
Although it is common for families to experience a strong sense of apprehension around joining the family support network, in our experience these groups are immensely rewarding and supportive. Many families continue to use the service over a long period of time, and gain great benefit from sharing their experiences with others in a similar situation, and receiving information which they can use to make their own lives easier in a practical way.
Where a client is in treatment at Charter Day Care, it is usual for at least one family conjoint session to be held to identify and talk through any difficulties, and to establish a strategy for moving forward.